Everyone's an Expert

Have you ever noticed, no matter the scenario, no matter where you are, there is always an expert onsite?

Now, when I say "expert" for those of you who aren't familiar with my personality ( ok, my sarcasm...) I don't really mean expert, but I really mean those who think they are?

Example: " You know you really need to an air pressure gauge to test those tires, before you add air."

"You know, you really should watch that coffee intake."

"You know, all it takes to lose weight is a little movement and cutting back."

"What's wrong with that coach/teacher/youth pastor? I know what I would do!!!"

I'm sure I could go on and on and even draw from my own personal arsenal of remarks. However, the older I get I am beginning to notice the error of my ways and realize we  can only be "the Authority" on those things we have personally experienced. In my case, on this journey I seem to be the authority on many things...

1) Unless you have personally experienced the craving that Chocolate and all its forms evoke, please don't tell me "It's all about portion size, self-control, yada-yada-yada...." What it is actually about is the quest for the most mindblowing decadent piece of euphoria that one piece alone will satisfy.  A burst of instant gratification that once touches the minute membranes of your tastebuds...it takes you to a place away from the demands of the day and somehow trumps all previous forms and attempts. So, for now, don't tell me to eat a few M&M's and save the rest. Don't tell me to have just a small sliver of something....they don't call it "Theobroma Cacao" for nothing. ( translation: fruit of the gods.) How's that for some expertise?

2) Unless you have ever had to deal with weight issues, please don't tell me it's about diet and exercise.  I don't tell skinny people how many milkshakes they should drink, or how just a few croutons could make a difference.  No, it is deeper than that.  In all seriousness it is.  My brother and I grew up with opposite metabolisms.  I would watch him eat a Big Mac and I would gain weight.  I know the logistics of what I should do, but as I have grown older....that too presents a challenge.  And, for the record...the next time I see an emaciated person out for a jog on a 95 degree day,  I will try to refrain from making a comments like: "Wow, honey...you need to STOP running for a few days."  or "Can someone please give that man a cupcake?" or my favorite: " Uh-oh, looks like someone had 1% milk this morning instead of skim; better hurry up and take care of those extra 60 calories before lunch."

3) Ok, this one is serious: unless you have personally experienced divorce...don't try to offer "church cliches." Shortly after I received the news; that life as I knew it was falling apart, I was literally laying on the altar and sobbing at church. Don't worry it was during an altar service, not during the preaching. :) I was crying out to God, when a "dear one" came to my side and asked what I needed from God. After telling her,she replied with : "Oh, honey...God must have something great for you just around the corner!"

  Another such time had a woman trying to lead me to the Lord.  Surely my tears had to mean I was a sinless backslider.  And my favorite one was the "friend" who was ready with the sound Biblical advice on "God's views of divorce."  How, even though I was now forever cursed to a single life, they would be  "praying for me."  hmmmmmm....

As we go about our days, one thing is certain...no two days are alike.  We may not always see it, but God is continually working things together for our good. ( Romans 8:28)  I can honestly say that I see that now. True, like so many who have gone through heart-wrenching and life-altering moments, I didn't always believe that.  There would be endless days of just "going through the motions." It was at times all I could even fathom to just get out of bed and get my kids to school, but the truth is....I did it.  I lived. I survived it. I can give you some input there.  I am an expert.

Now, I am on many different quests for expertise; not the least of which will be an upcoming opportunity to showcase some of my artwork.  Let me just tell you...."everyone" is an expert there.  I say that with quotes because I believe artwork is truly a personal preference.  Often, blue dots or abstract cat eyes seem to be the most "beautiful." ummmm yeah.

At any rate; let's be sensitive to each other and quit trying to offer unsolicited "expertise." Sometimes a person just needs a place to lean; and ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or a latte the size of a Buick.  Whatever it is, my prayer is to be less of an "expert/authority" and more of a friend.  Any takers out there? Oh yes and would someone please get Angelina Jolie a cracker?