Time

"Time is what prevents everything from happening at once."
Albert Einstein

Time.

Quotes, songs, artwork, and even an industries have been devoted to time. From Big Ben, to the paper plate clocks my daughters made in Kindergarten, time is an inescapable part of our lives.

It's time to go to work.
It's past your bedtime.
Do you have enough time to finish that?

I am certain, I can offer no real illumination or insight that will change time or alter our perceptions, but as I peruse social media these days I am reminded daily that time is indeed fleeting.

My youngest daughter is graduating high school in just two short weeks. Wasn't she just playing dress up and clicking down the hallway in plastic princess shoes?
My mother had open heart surgery a week ago. Wasn't she just driving me to school, as we sang "You and me against the world?"
My oldest daughter is in cosmetology school. Wasn't she just asking me to sing "A dream is a wish your heart makes," every night before bed?

I am turning 52 in July. Wasn't I just in college? Nostalgia, memories, both bittersweet and heart wrenching are all in full effect these days.

But, there are other issues with time and its casualties. The seasons and changes of relationships and communities that one time meant so much, are often meant to be only just that: there for a season.

This is probably one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn over the last few years. Some of the lessons have been necessary. I have turned down relationships based on who I am now, versus who he/she thought I was. I was such a different person in my teens, my college years, and even just a year ago. We must never quit learning, and I must continue becoming the most authentic version of myself. Needless to say, this has taken time.  I have placed so much significance on my size, my age, my looks, my ministry, my success, or in any of these...the lack thereof. Often, we judge our successes and our worth on the amount of time we have known someone, or the amount of time we've devoted to something.

But here is the truth. Time does not stand still. As we strive to become our best, others are doing the same. Sometimes that means we outgrow each other. Friendships that once seemed so vital, become stagnant, issues that seem so important, become trivial, and success comes in the form of notes and "I love yous," instead of a direct deposit.

Graduation pictures, Mothers Day, and higher numbered Birthdays fill up Facebook. The people that "knew you when..." post stories and pictures, yet as I move forward to the inevitable time frame of getting older, I realize I can no longer be ruled by time. I need to cherish this moment right now.

What divine appointments does God have lined up for me?
What does today hold?
Make the bucket list.
Embrace the next.
Wear that.
Fix your hair like you want.
Eat that. Drink that. Listen to that.

No, this isn't some midlife rant about leaving everything behind and moving to Bali. ( although....that is a possibility one day ) It is simply about not putting so much stock in "what should be happening by now." We put such expectations on people and even on ourselves.

Today, I will just live, breathe, eat, sleep, read, work, create, pray, laugh and love. I will however look beyond the clock and beyond what time has dictated as what should be happening.

This week, a camellia plant is starting to grow at home. I though for sure it had died, as last year I had cut it back to the ground as disease had taken it over. Then, upon moving some mulch out of the way, I see these lush green leaves springing up from the once abandoned roots. I guess, after the seasons, and all the time needed to heal, it will bloom after all. And, yes...I have the time.