Reset.

I have decided to make a few changes in the content of this blog.
It seems like I am forever reinventing myself
and this week is no exception.

As I was wrestling with a few things this morning, I begin to feel the need to tell my story. Sure, I've shared snippets and many know of the struggle, financially, emotionally and even physically, but something is different now. It's time to dig deep. I kept a long conversation going with God today.

"People are tired of hearing about my journey."
"No one cares anymore."
"Everyone is hurting."

But, that's when it hit me. Yes, everyone is hurting. Yet, under the guise of social media we smile, and post our outings and our purchases. We "how are you?" and "I'm fine" with everyone and in every single church service and grocery store moment. Yet, there are the underlying stories in everyone. See my post from a few years ago: All the Little Hidden Things

Does this mean we walk around morose and tragically wear our emotions and our hearts on our sleeves? Of course not, but through this blog and maybe through our choices to encourage and to be real and raw with others, empathy and vulnerability will rule, versus the latest hastag or twitter post.

Today I am beginning a journey with you all my dear readers. I will be real and probably a little offensive. Have you met me? Then you know I am done with the formality of superficiality. If that is too much for you, then the good news is this. You can stop reading. See, I am on a mission to be the most authentic version of myself. I have been pseudo versions of myself for so many years, the reality of who I am becoming is a lonely path. It is an unpopular path and often fraught with even more self doubt and insecurity than the "popular" or "church girl" status. But, fear has been my roommate for far too long. (See: Hello Fear  by Kirk Franklin)

Here is the truth:
I am done with the façade of life. Hopefully, I will help a few others to embrace their authenticity. I have no misconceptions about this journey of vulnerability. I will be hurt. I will be ignored. I will be talked about. I will be criticized. It has already happened. It is already happening. But, this is not written out of anger, or contempt for what has to for what will happen. I am not being a martyr, I am merely ready for a real revelation of who I am in Christ. If, this brutal vulnerability encourages someone else, then wonderful. I have struggled for years in understanding my calling.
         
I thought I was to be a journalist. I didn't have the drive or the real courage to pursue that journey as a college graduate. Failure.

I knew God wanted me to do ministry. I thought is was missions. While on a trip to Africa, my heart broke and was connected to the precious souls there and I began Bible College. I didn't become a missionary. Failure. I married and put my calling and my dreams on hold.

I started over, again and again and again. There will be more depth and more stories of, quite frankly: defeat. Failure upon failure. Betrayal upon betrayal. Health crisis upon health crisis.

But for today, I am asking this. If you have enjoyed reading my blogs. If there has ever been a moment where you felt encouraged and/or connected, then please leave a comment. Let me know where you struggle, Let us all know what's really going on and let's step away from the Social Media perceptions of each other. Also, due to the nature of my life right now, please consider making a donation to my cause. ( aka, "living." links on the right ) Also, if you haven't already done so, please "like" my Facebook pages: Hisworks and Blissworks. ( Links also to your right )
Lastly, if you purchase anything through Amazon, by clicking on the picture, or related links, I will receive a percentage of the sales!

Ready? Let's do this. It's our time. No more procrastination. Real. Raw. Relevant. Fearless.