Just for Today
We've all heard the expression: "One day at a time,"
but I have a different way of living.
It is one moment at a time, or as a friend and I say: "Just for today."
Just for today, means I have what I need just for today. I can't worry about tomorrow.
That sounds simple to some, but I can assure you it has been a long hard process.
I never intended to live like this. I had all those big dreams of bustling career, perfect family, success, lavish vacations and the like, but life had other plans for me it seems.
After the fallout of divorce and moving, every single time I started to pick up the pieces of my life, things would unravel. again and again.
If I landed a great job, there would be changes or regulations for which I wasn't qualified, or downsizing.
If things were starting to go well, there would be a lay off, or an illness or an unexpected bill that would send everything crashing. again.
However, as a gal who always puts her faith in the amazing God we serve, I have always believed it was going to work out. There have been lots of last minute miracles and many 11:59 moments, but somehow, some way, God always came through. Always.
I passed this on, to my daughters, who knew if something was needed by Friday, we had to believe it would be there. It would not be there early, no no...usually, last possible minute on Thursday evening, but it was there. I always told them: "Just for today." We have everything we need today, and we have to trust God to handle tomorrow. Those were some faith building years and I am so proud to have shown this faith to them.
Now, I am facing bigger issues than field trip money and school supplies. Those days were the training ground.
My "Just for Today," has to do with this heinous disease I'm fighting, in conjunction with job loss, while trying to take care of my family and help my youngest daughter raise money for a trip with her school.
As a single mother, who's had to let her kids down many times with "I'm sorry we just can't afford that," I am doing all I can to make sure this doesn't happen with this trip.
Something clicks when you're facing your own mortality, you realize "Just for today," is actually a gift. With this disease, the reality is: I could die at any moment. My aorta could collapse, my rib cage could collapse, my trachea could collapse, etc. It can come without warning, as one hard cough, or a strange new pain presents and then you're faced with eternity. Yes, it sounds morbid, but I'm not spending time there. I am spending time with "Just for today."
Today, I have enough gas to get home and sit on my porch with a cup of tea and a good book. I don't have what I need to take care of tomorrow, but hey, that's tomorrow.
Today, I will talk to my daughter before bed, as she always calls to tell me about her day. Will I be able to raise all her money for the trip? That's not today; today we laugh and talk about all those things we love.
Today, I will talk to the couple I've asked to be Godparents, just in case.....Will they need to do anything yet? No, that's only a future possibility. Just for today, we set things in motion.
As humans, and especially as women, we like to have plans. We like to have everything in order. At this point in my life, I have had to learn to let it all go. I literally have no plans for the rest of this week, as the needs I have are far beyond my control. I am certain, I will even be living somewhere else soon, but today....well, I will sleep in my room. It is actually quite liberating when you realize God is truly in charge of all my tomorrows. Of course, we still have to be responsible and make good choices. I am doing all I can, now I trust Him to do all He will.
Just for today, means I will trust. period. It is raw, relentless, imperfect, faith that leaves me speechless every time I trust Him, as he over and over again, proves He has all the tomorrows.
Luke 12:24-26
24"Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! 25"And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life's span? 26"If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters?"
Just for today...
but I have a different way of living.
It is one moment at a time, or as a friend and I say: "Just for today."
Just for today, means I have what I need just for today. I can't worry about tomorrow.
That sounds simple to some, but I can assure you it has been a long hard process.
I never intended to live like this. I had all those big dreams of bustling career, perfect family, success, lavish vacations and the like, but life had other plans for me it seems.
After the fallout of divorce and moving, every single time I started to pick up the pieces of my life, things would unravel. again and again.
If I landed a great job, there would be changes or regulations for which I wasn't qualified, or downsizing.
If things were starting to go well, there would be a lay off, or an illness or an unexpected bill that would send everything crashing. again.
However, as a gal who always puts her faith in the amazing God we serve, I have always believed it was going to work out. There have been lots of last minute miracles and many 11:59 moments, but somehow, some way, God always came through. Always.
I passed this on, to my daughters, who knew if something was needed by Friday, we had to believe it would be there. It would not be there early, no no...usually, last possible minute on Thursday evening, but it was there. I always told them: "Just for today." We have everything we need today, and we have to trust God to handle tomorrow. Those were some faith building years and I am so proud to have shown this faith to them.
Now, I am facing bigger issues than field trip money and school supplies. Those days were the training ground.
My "Just for Today," has to do with this heinous disease I'm fighting, in conjunction with job loss, while trying to take care of my family and help my youngest daughter raise money for a trip with her school.
As a single mother, who's had to let her kids down many times with "I'm sorry we just can't afford that," I am doing all I can to make sure this doesn't happen with this trip.
Something clicks when you're facing your own mortality, you realize "Just for today," is actually a gift. With this disease, the reality is: I could die at any moment. My aorta could collapse, my rib cage could collapse, my trachea could collapse, etc. It can come without warning, as one hard cough, or a strange new pain presents and then you're faced with eternity. Yes, it sounds morbid, but I'm not spending time there. I am spending time with "Just for today."
Today, I have enough gas to get home and sit on my porch with a cup of tea and a good book. I don't have what I need to take care of tomorrow, but hey, that's tomorrow.
Today, I will talk to my daughter before bed, as she always calls to tell me about her day. Will I be able to raise all her money for the trip? That's not today; today we laugh and talk about all those things we love.
Today, I will talk to the couple I've asked to be Godparents, just in case.....Will they need to do anything yet? No, that's only a future possibility. Just for today, we set things in motion.
As humans, and especially as women, we like to have plans. We like to have everything in order. At this point in my life, I have had to learn to let it all go. I literally have no plans for the rest of this week, as the needs I have are far beyond my control. I am certain, I will even be living somewhere else soon, but today....well, I will sleep in my room. It is actually quite liberating when you realize God is truly in charge of all my tomorrows. Of course, we still have to be responsible and make good choices. I am doing all I can, now I trust Him to do all He will.
Just for today, means I will trust. period. It is raw, relentless, imperfect, faith that leaves me speechless every time I trust Him, as he over and over again, proves He has all the tomorrows.
Luke 12:24-26
24"Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! 25"And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life's span? 26"If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters?"
Just for today...
Once again, you are my hero
ReplyDeleteOnce again, you are my hero
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