Lemon Brownies and Default Settings
A few weeks ago, there was a decadent recipe
circulating around
Facebook: Lemon Brownies. Yes, the tart, tangy sweet taste of lemon with the consistency of a brownie. I needed no arm- twisting, I assure you.
In fact, a friend even gave me the money to bake this fabulous dessert for an event we were to attend the next week.
Challenge accepted.
( By the way, when the batter to something is as good as the finished product, you know it's a dangerous situation. These were amazing! )
I took these gorgeous bites of lemony bliss to my small group. ( I presently lead a small/connect group at my church, for single mothers. )
They were arranged on a pretty dish, the coffee was made, and I even had cute little plates purchased on "post Valentine's Day clearance."
Only a few ladies took one. ( Some, only half of one....and I mean minuscule, pieces!)
Of the ones who did, several skipped the pretty plates and went straight to a paper towel or even a tissue, to hold their brownie.
Later that night, I discussed the format of the upcoming semester and the topics we would be covering. There will be four main topics discussed : Our personal walk with God, Taking time for us, Our children and Practical tools/resources. I asked each woman to pick what she felt was the most urgent or pressing topic that is continually at the forefront of their minds. Almost unanimously the answer was: "our children."
At the end of the evening, most asked about taking a brownie for their kids, yet only a few had treated themselves.
I got home that night with a full plate of dessert, an almost full package of plates and the realization of what just happened.
For some reason, we seem to have bought into the idea that we have to deny ourselves those little things along the way. Yes, I could surely lose a few pounds. Yes, there are always exceptions. ( diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. ) However, this doesn't only apply to dessert. It seems that we have become "martyrs of parenthood." In my experience, single parents are often the worst culprits.
There he is, running out on the soccer field with new cleats, a new uniform and even new undies, while we sit in a pair of jeans we've had for 20 years. ( if we can still fit them )
There she is, up on stage playing, acting, singing her heart out, in the new dress purchased for the occasion, while we wear the same hairstyle we've worn for 10+ years, or we put makeup on in the car, or we don't have time to change, so we wear what we've worn to work, complete with coffee and ranch dressing stains.
"Mom, I don't like that song."
"Mom, I don't want to have that for dinner."
"Mom, I want to wear this, not that."
"Mom, I want to do it."
How many default settings just kicked in?
Or what about these:
"I know I just bought them a new game, but this one is on sale." ( ignore the fact that you're in those same jeans )
"But, you just spent the night with her last weekend and you're room isn't clean. Okay, but not again"
( those jeans and her jeans and her uniform and her clothes from last week are all sitting on the floor of the laundry room. )
"What do you mean you have to have this typed? Yes, I'll do it...again."
Most of us have done it and would do it all over again. We are parents. We love our kids to the "moon and back." But, at what point does loving our kids, equal the default setting of "doing without, or doing in spite of..?"
Friends:
It is okay to have something, like a dessert, without making sure your kids have one on back up.
It is okay, to buy something you need and not come home with something for them too.
It is okay to not rush home when you could take the "scenic route," to give yourself and extra 15 mins to grab a latte, a tea, a moment...uninterrupted to "deprogram the day."
For some reason, "guilt" and all its glory kicks in, on so many situations. But we have to be whole, before we can give anything to anyone; especially our kids.
I am no stranger to the default settings of "guilt and of "doing without." Sometimes, "doing without" isn't a choice. Sometimes the guilt comes from the choices we've made. But, those don't have to be the automatic responses. It's time to live like His girls.
Today I want you to consider this: John 10:10b says: "...but I have come that they might have life and have it to the full."
What part of living life to the fullest, comes with constantly putting your self last? Your children, your employer, your friends will see a martyr, or someone to whom they can take advantage.
When was the last time you did something just for you?
It doesn't have to be elaborate: it just has to be.
Pick up that paintbrush, call that friend, get a coke, take a bath ( not a 5 minute shower ), have a brownie. ( even a lemon one.... )
Pick the pretty dish.
Buy the new jeans.
Listen to your music.
Be the best possible version of yourself.
You owe it to you. Imagine how your children will perceive you....
You were never intended to get the leftovers, or be a leftover.
You aren't an afterthought.
Psalms 139:14 says we are "fearfully and wonderfully made," yet we spend our days just dragging through and if we're lucky, the chicken nuggets we eat off of our toddlers' plates are still warm.
I leave you with this quote from Marianne Williamson which basically sums it all up.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
—Marianne Williamson
Girls.....have a brownie. Use the cute plates. Be amazing.
circulating around
Facebook: Lemon Brownies. Yes, the tart, tangy sweet taste of lemon with the consistency of a brownie. I needed no arm- twisting, I assure you.In fact, a friend even gave me the money to bake this fabulous dessert for an event we were to attend the next week.
Challenge accepted.
( By the way, when the batter to something is as good as the finished product, you know it's a dangerous situation. These were amazing! )
I took these gorgeous bites of lemony bliss to my small group. ( I presently lead a small/connect group at my church, for single mothers. )
They were arranged on a pretty dish, the coffee was made, and I even had cute little plates purchased on "post Valentine's Day clearance."
Only a few ladies took one. ( Some, only half of one....and I mean minuscule, pieces!)
Of the ones who did, several skipped the pretty plates and went straight to a paper towel or even a tissue, to hold their brownie.
Later that night, I discussed the format of the upcoming semester and the topics we would be covering. There will be four main topics discussed : Our personal walk with God, Taking time for us, Our children and Practical tools/resources. I asked each woman to pick what she felt was the most urgent or pressing topic that is continually at the forefront of their minds. Almost unanimously the answer was: "our children."
At the end of the evening, most asked about taking a brownie for their kids, yet only a few had treated themselves.
I got home that night with a full plate of dessert, an almost full package of plates and the realization of what just happened.
For some reason, we seem to have bought into the idea that we have to deny ourselves those little things along the way. Yes, I could surely lose a few pounds. Yes, there are always exceptions. ( diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. ) However, this doesn't only apply to dessert. It seems that we have become "martyrs of parenthood." In my experience, single parents are often the worst culprits.
There he is, running out on the soccer field with new cleats, a new uniform and even new undies, while we sit in a pair of jeans we've had for 20 years. ( if we can still fit them )
There she is, up on stage playing, acting, singing her heart out, in the new dress purchased for the occasion, while we wear the same hairstyle we've worn for 10+ years, or we put makeup on in the car, or we don't have time to change, so we wear what we've worn to work, complete with coffee and ranch dressing stains.
"Mom, I don't like that song."
"Mom, I don't want to have that for dinner."
"Mom, I want to wear this, not that."
"Mom, I want to do it."
How many default settings just kicked in?
Or what about these:
"I know I just bought them a new game, but this one is on sale." ( ignore the fact that you're in those same jeans )
"But, you just spent the night with her last weekend and you're room isn't clean. Okay, but not again"
( those jeans and her jeans and her uniform and her clothes from last week are all sitting on the floor of the laundry room. )
"What do you mean you have to have this typed? Yes, I'll do it...again."
Most of us have done it and would do it all over again. We are parents. We love our kids to the "moon and back." But, at what point does loving our kids, equal the default setting of "doing without, or doing in spite of..?"
Friends:
It is okay to have something, like a dessert, without making sure your kids have one on back up.
It is okay, to buy something you need and not come home with something for them too.
It is okay to not rush home when you could take the "scenic route," to give yourself and extra 15 mins to grab a latte, a tea, a moment...uninterrupted to "deprogram the day."
For some reason, "guilt" and all its glory kicks in, on so many situations. But we have to be whole, before we can give anything to anyone; especially our kids.
I am no stranger to the default settings of "guilt and of "doing without." Sometimes, "doing without" isn't a choice. Sometimes the guilt comes from the choices we've made. But, those don't have to be the automatic responses. It's time to live like His girls.
Today I want you to consider this: John 10:10b says: "...but I have come that they might have life and have it to the full."
What part of living life to the fullest, comes with constantly putting your self last? Your children, your employer, your friends will see a martyr, or someone to whom they can take advantage.
When was the last time you did something just for you?
It doesn't have to be elaborate: it just has to be.
Pick up that paintbrush, call that friend, get a coke, take a bath ( not a 5 minute shower ), have a brownie. ( even a lemon one.... )
Pick the pretty dish.
Buy the new jeans.
Listen to your music.
Be the best possible version of yourself.
You owe it to you. Imagine how your children will perceive you....
You were never intended to get the leftovers, or be a leftover.
You aren't an afterthought.
Psalms 139:14 says we are "fearfully and wonderfully made," yet we spend our days just dragging through and if we're lucky, the chicken nuggets we eat off of our toddlers' plates are still warm.
I leave you with this quote from Marianne Williamson which basically sums it all up.
Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
—Marianne Williamson
Girls.....have a brownie. Use the cute plates. Be amazing.
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