Storykeepers

"Not everyone can be trusted with your story, Noel."

I had just finished a highly emotional rant about how some people had recently let me down, when my friend said this to me.

"But I thought part of this process, was learning to be truly vulnerable," I said.

"True, vulnerability is part of the 'process,' but even then there are those that aren't ready for that, and your vulnerability catches them off guard. So, they can't respond, don't respond or resort to cliches."

She then suggested a book, that I am now presently reading.

Okay, so here we go Lord... I am apparently in a new season to navigate.

If you have read any of my previous blogposts, you would know I am basically at a point where I am willing to do just about anything to survive. ( See "Laid Open" )Being real, raw, open and yes vulnerable have been the ingredients of this season of the last few years. I almost resorted to standing on the corner with one of those signs....

The good news, is that my signs would be really pretty! ( Yes, I'm an artist too ) Okay, I digressed, but seriously...

However, it seems like now this newest season:"Finding the Storykeepers."

Now, I am truly thankful for those who've rallied around me these last several years. It has been remarkable how God has used people from different states, different lifetimes it seems to pour into our family. Some people have reached out and helped even when things weren't perfect for them either. ( see "You Can Have Mine ")

But, now there is a different feel. I took a step of faith and contacted several people in August for an urgent need.
There was silence. For days.

Now, this had not happened before. I had reached out several times and everytime, someone came through. But, this time....silence.

Ironically, this was a different group of contacts, because in my mind I had "exhausted" the help of a few close friends. I contacted them out of desperation and worry. Then, this is when My friend said this to me: "Not everyone can be trusted with your story."

Your story is your testimony.
Your good.
Your bad.
Your hopelessness.
Your victory.
Your failures.
Your dreams...the broken ones and the ones still taking wing.

If Jesus is then writing our story, then it makes sense that He will lead us to the "Storykeepers" in our lives.

He understands. As He faced his darkest hour...only a few were with Him. He had been preaching His story for months, yet when it came down to the wire in Gethsemane, only 3 were the closest. Only one, became the caregiver and "son" to His mother as he hung on the cross.

The good news is, a few of those contacted did help. They even apologized for not getting in touch earlier..phone issues, moving, life. I totally got it. The others never did, but it was perfectly fine because that wasn't the lesson. They have their own stories.

My daughters are seeing these realities in their own lives too. Teenagers often want as many people as possible in their lives. It's all about the number of texts and facebook friends and invites and on and on....

But, as they have become more vulnerable with their stories of overcoming some brutal times, God is showing them their circle doesn't have to be enormous, it has to be made of those that can be trusted with: their story.

This Christian Life. It is a constant "story" of contradictions.
Salvation is free, but it costs everything.
Jesus died for us, but is alive.
He was born in the most impoverished manner, yet He is the King of kings.

We have to become vulnerable and transparent to rely on Him, so He can supply the "Storykeepers."

The best news? He isn't through writing our story.