"It's the Little Things...Seriously?"

OK, as you look at this, I know what you're thinking. "Of all the things to capture on camera...." but there's a reason.  Hang on.

Look carefully. This, if you don't know, is windshield-washer fluid. No matter what car, what year, how big or how small, there is ALWAYS this much left in the container after filling the vessel under the hood. Always.  Not enough to save, but you feel guilty if you throw it away.

I was thinking of how, at this point in my life there are, well....many things like this that are starting to get on my nerves. Things like hearing people eat....literally hearing it...( hello? Kit Kat and Pringles Commercials )
People who give their small children; WHISTLES to play with. In a crowded area. I really hate the wrong usage of the words: "their, there, and they're"....kind of like "your, and you're".....There is the sound a skateboard makes, when a 10 year old is trying to "learn a trick."
This exact scenario, recently reduced me to an act of blatant immaturity.  My next door neighbors are often gone as they are restaurant owners.  Their grandchildren were moving in nearby and the youngest would try repeatedly, day after day....hour upon hour.....to perfect some type of trick in the empty driveway.  That would be the driveway located about 6 feet from my kitchen and living room windows. It would be one thing if the kid could a) ride a skateboard and b) actually had a clue as to HOW to do a trick....yet over and over and over, the sound of a clicking, banging skateboard.   When he left to go home, he made a horrible mistake.  He left the skateboard.  So, I did what any respectable, christian woman would do....I hid it.

I know. It was childish. It was borderline diabolical. But, in my defense...it was not "hidden" in some abyss.  It was more of an advanced Easter-Egg, Stealth-like, Special Ops type of hidden object.  With a little imagination and perhaps a week or two of free time, I knew he would find it.  It was, after all on their property. The result? blissful evenings on the porch "sans" skateboard.

Yes, the little things....that start to build..not unlike our faith.  I had thought my last few years had been a walk of ever-increasing. mature mind-blowing, life-altering faith.  So, last night I picked up my journal as I often do, and decided however to start from the beginning; two years ago.  What I started reading really surprised me.  I was pouring my heart out to God, and writing wonderful scriptures of faith and promises.  Then the whole process would repeat. Me, pouring my heart out....begging, pleading, questioning, scriptures....and then all over again?  Really? What kind of noise was this making in Christ's ears?

Yes, He hears us, he is our advocate, but at one point, all He had to do was hit some sort of supernatural "rewind" button.  It was humbling and quite frankly humiliating.  How was I any different than that annoying sound of the skateboard? "Help me...lonely me....broke me....depressed me...." over and over...

Paul often reminds us of our journey and how we should "move past the milk, and go for the meat" of God's truths.  I thought I had come so far.  As I continued to read, I noticed a slight shift as entries corresponded with some of the life altering occurrences over the last few months. Yet, I was left with a feeling of mixed emotions and a restless night of sleep soon followed.

This morning, as I was taking my daughter to school, she noticed I was a little quieter than usual.  She asked me what was wrong and I told her: "Well, after reading a lot of my past journal entries I realized I kept repeating myself for a long time instead of believing and moving on."  I told her: "God was probably like 'Really Noel? Seriously? Again with this?'" Her response? "No, mom....He's not like that."

Okay, so out of the mouths of babes.  I know this.  The same God that forgives and never remembers our sins will still give us new mercies every morning and for some reason, doesn't seem to let the "little things" drive Him crazy. With all my idiosyncrasies, habits and "lack of faith" from time to time....He's right there, cheering me on. Again. He loves us no matter what and will do whatever it takes to get our attention.

That kid? He found his skateboard. 

This gal? She found a friend that looks past all the mistakes, doubts, fears and redundant prayers. Priceless.

Just saw some kids playing with fake swords and screaming....time to play "hide and seek."  ( more of the hide, less of the seek)